If you are easily grossed out, I suggest that you read no further

Because I am anal retentive and because John is sweet, kind and patient, we have a System for doing just about everything. The System usually involves my way of doing things because... well, because my way is better. John may disagree with me on this, but because He Was Warned when we moved in together that I have a System and that for the sake of harmony, he should not fight me on this, he has learned to accept the System.

Anyway, we have a System for changing the cat litter. Mind you, we use the crystal litter because it absorbs odor way, way better and we have a gigantic igloo litterbox because my ctas like their privacy and well, I respect that. Got a problem with that? The System is such: John goes into the crawl space and removes cat litter. (Yes, our cats have their own room where the litter lives--its original incarnation was as a storage crawl space, but...) John sets down opened litter box full of big, gigantic, enormous, humungous stinkin' cat shit. We both gag. Then, I hand John a large garbage bag (always two-ply, dammit. Always two ply--we won't go into how we arrived at THAT conclusion--you can guess). He unfurls said garbage bag and holds it open. I pick up open litterbox, carefully insert it ALL THE WAY into open garbage bag and turn and dump its contents deep inside the garbage bag. Then John takes the bag o'shit downstairs to the outside garbage can and I wash and refill the litterbox and replace it into the crawl space.

Tonight, we decided to mix up the System. I held the bag and John proceeded to dump the litterbox's contents.

ALL OVER MY LEGS AND THE F@#$ING FLOOR.

I love my retarded moron sweet, wonderful fiance. THIS is what happens when you fuck with my System, dammit. Have we learned our lesson?