The Revenge of the Soccer Moms

Last night I went to try to beg my way on to one of the women's league soccer teams that play in our town. It's already four weeks into the season and all the teams in the Division 2 (Intermediate) League, which plays on Monday nights, were full. Tonight, I will go again and see if any of the Division 3 (Beginner) League teams will have space for one more player. Wish me luck... oh, and by the way, there's a book about this league. Read about it here.

As a girl and an athlete who came of age playing sports, I forget that women only a few years older than I did not have the opportunities to play competitively. It's strange to think that women John's age did not have teams on which to play in high school and junior high. My mother doesn't understand the appeal. She says, "why don't you go to the gym? Why would you want to risk getting hurt paying soccer?" My mother doesn't get the sheer, unmitigated joy at being part of something, part of a team. You can't win on a treadmill!

So, tonight, cross your fingers that one of the teams will take me, because I really, really want to start playing again!

The Art of Charm

As someone who considers herself quite charming (some of you may disagree), I couldn't have said this better!

Please be gracious and charming in all your dealings. As we Southern girls always say, "you get more flies with honey..."

Do the football gods just hate ME???

The Aints had their worst game ever played. On national television. With the whole country watching (well, those who watch football, anyway). Read all the embarrassing, disgusting, gory details here. I'm going to get my paper bag.

Shana Tova

Happy Rosh Hashana to all my Jewish friends and relatives. And what did I, as a lapsed Jew who is about to marry a nice Irish Catholic boy, do to celebrate the new year? I played soccer for the first time in about 13 years... and boy am I out of shape. Monday, I find out if any of the women's soccer league teams will take me. Wish me luck!

Today's quiz...

Athena


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

The case for Bush hatred

This is a great article in the New Republic regarding the hatred of G-Dub.

Although I hate the war-mongering, economy destroying, illegal war, Haliburton supporting, puppet fake president as much as the next gal, I have to say that I agree that our overwhelming disgust at the man himself may cost us the White House in 2004 by getting us a Democratic candidate who will not stand a chance of winning over moderates.

Anyway, whether you agree with me or not, read the article. It's interesting.

The lights are on, but you're not home...

Robert Palmer left us today at the early age of 54. He was an indelible part of my early teen years. I remember my girlfriends and I dressing up as the girls in "the Robert Palmer video" for Halloween that year (1986). I was a freshman in high school. His songs were always playing at every high school party. Right after the Beastie Boys to get us riled up, they would put on Robert Palmer and that was always the guy's "cue" to grab the girls to dance. Of course after that, someone put on a slow, "make out" song... ah, memories!

The lights are on, but you're not home, Robert... you'll be missed.

Masturbation, anyone?

My friend Skip just sent me an email likening blogging to masturbation. In public. Here is the reprint of his email to me:

Let me ask you this..after a furious session of blogging- do you feel more relaxed? Stress free? Every now and then do you feel the need to blog at odd moments? When you see a hot stranger do you find yourself thinking about blogging, then when you go home and do it, do you feel so much more refreshed! Hmmm seems that your blogging is directly analogous to JERKING OFF! WHICH IS WHAT IT IS- only in PUBLIC so there's that extra naughty thrill. So by asking people to read your BLOGS you are really expressing a desire to have people watch you JERKING OFF and approving of it, admiring your technique, and then joining you. But I digress- this has all been acknowledged and discussed ad infinitum on Salon.com Everybody already knows that blogging is public masturbation. It even SOUNDS like it.You should watch more TV, or get a job volunteering at an AIDS clinic or something. Stop all this me me me me me! It's better for the soul you know. Knowing when to shut up is the best part of being smart.

So, is he right? As mad as his email makes me, he has a valid point. Am I writing this because I need a creative outlet and am easing back into writing... or is this just a self indulgent way to say "look at me, look at me"? I don't know the answer, but I do know that blogging is a fun way to vent and to communicate my way of looking at things into the great unknown void of the internet. So, what if it is public masturbation... no one has to read it, and there aren't that many people who do read it, anyway. Aren't there greater debates in the world after all? Blogging is my way to keep some of my friends and my family (those who choose to read it) conferenced in to what is happening in my life here in New Jersey, 1500 miles away from everyone who is important in my life, with the exception of John. This way I don't run up the world's biggest cell phone bill calling home every time I want to share a funny anecdote with my friends or my parents.

So, I guess... just call me a MASTURBATER.

I finally learned how to check who is searching for what when they get me...

Apparently, I am #5 on Google for "Daniella."
I am #3 for "Latvian beer, Montclair, NJ"
I am #1 for "Daniella Bush" (click here to see what I mean). Somehow, I don't think I was what the person searching for "Daniella Bush" had in mind...

Livin' the High Life

We were invited by another couple, who are old friends of John, to join them and a bunch of their friends in North Carolina for a week at the beach. Since there are four couples already splitting expenses, the cost would be minimal. John and I have enough vacation days left this year, and I have never been to North Carolina's Outer Banks (or what's left of it since Hurricane Isabel).

Last night, we got the link to the actual house which we are renting. Check it out here. All I have to say is... holy shit!

I can't wait!

Blogger... you are a fickle mistress

Did you know that blogger archives are not working? No, not MY archives.... ALL archives on Blog*spot. So, no, those are not broken links in my previous posts... it's blogger that is down and when it is fixed those links will lead to something...

I'm considering moving to a pay site (Movable Type, etc) for additional capacity so that I can have a photo page, an "About" page, etc. Has anyone used a pay service? Do you have recommendations... which one is best? I need guidance, please!

She was consumed by his passionate gaze...

Now that I have read this, I am all ready for my new career as a romance novelist!

I am going to buy this for Frank and Cali TODAY!

Please check out this ebay auction. This is a necessary item for every pet lover to get for his or her furry friends.

U.S. Invades Non-Oil-Rich Nation To Dispel Criticism

LUXEMBOURG VILLE, LUXEMBOURG—In an effort to quiet criticism of U.S. military policy, 50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich Grand Duchy of Luxembourg Monday. "Once again, the U.S. claims victory over a rogue nation," said President Bush after the 45-minute war. "The people of Luxembourg, although prosperous and living in peace, have suffered under the tyranny of a monarchy for centuries. And allow me to point out that Luxembourg has not one drop of crude oil." Troops will return home Friday, following the public hanging of Grand Duke Henri de Luxembourg.

Courtesy of The Onion

Eeegads, "Who's the Anti-Christ" strikes right on the money again

I agree with them 100% on this one!

Oi, vot a man!

Look at what John sent me today... click here to read the story of John and Daniella

Hoppy Bulfday to You

Yesterday, John and I went into the city to go to the San Gennaro festival in Little Italy. You know, the one in The Godfather, Part 2 during the flashback part when Robert DeNiro, playing a young Vito Corleone kills the guy in the white suit and begins his ascent to the top of the cosa nostra food chain? Anyway, so we went there and it was nothing like that. It was just like any festival, with street vendors hawking overpriced, crappy food and booths playing techno music.

So, we left and went into Chinatown for dinner at the highly recommended Congee Village. The food was great, we were among very few gringos there and overall the experience was terrific.

However... (you didn't think the title of this post was for nothing, did you?), every time there was a birthday in the house, which occurred approximately six times during our meal there, they would play the birthday song over the PA system. LOUD and in both English and CHINESE. The voices on the tape sounded like little Chinese girls or, as John described it, like that annoying "Welcome to our world, welcome to our world" munchkins at FAO Shwartz. I laughed so hard, I think congee came out of my nose.

So, I leave you with...

hoppy bulfday to YOU... hoppy bulfday to YOU!

I am going to klepto this blog in its entirety

Right...at least no one died when Clinton lied

Bush Administration Spends Week Retracting Assertions about Saddam's Threat to the U.S.

The Bush administration this week backed away from three major rationales for going to war in Iraq last March, undermining its assertions that Hussein's Iraq posed an imminent threat to the United States and its allies.

September 11th
As recently as Sunday, Vice President Cheney, claimed that on the question of Saddam Hussein's involvement in September 11th, "We just don't know." But within days, both President Bush and Defense Secretary Rumsfeld each admitted there was no evidence that Hussein had any connection. On Wednesday, Bush maintained there was "no evidence" that Hussein was involved. Two days later, Rumsfeld, said, "I've not seen any indication that would lead me to believe that I could say that."

Yet in March, Hussein's possible involvement in the terrorist attacks garnered support for the war from many Americans. At the time, the widely reported meeting between 9/11 planner Mohammed Atta and Iraq's security chief in Prague a few months before the attack was found by the CIA not to be credible.

'Reconstituted Nuclear Weapons Program'
Recently, Cheney backed away from the assertion he made three days before the war began, that the strongest reason for going to war was that "we believe [Hussein] has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." But the International Atomic Energy Agency reported two weeks before that , "There was no indication of resumed nuclear activities." And six months later on Meet the Press, Cheney said simply, "I misspoke."

Weapons of Mass Destruction
This week, Rumsfeld reversed earlier statements claiming that the U.S. knew where Iraq's weapons of destruction were located. When asked why the weapons hadn't been found, this past Tuesday Rumsfeld said, "What do you mean? You're talking about a country the size of California." Yet months ago, just two weeks into the war, Rumsfeld said, "We know where they are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."


You know, if we were talking about Bill Clinton, Tom DeLay and the rest of the Republican jihadists would have been falling all over themselves in paroxysms of righteous indignation. So why is no one demanding that Bush be impeached??

What do you believe?

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Secular Humanism. What do you believe? Visit SelectSmartSelectSmart.com/RELIGION

Oregon??? OREGON???

According to this quiz, I should move to Oregon, with Washington state, Hawaii and Delaware as my next choices. They never asked about proximity to any goddamn person I know! Click here to see my results.

Synagogue Seating Preferences

got this today via e-mail:

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as
soon as possible.

1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)

___ Talking section
___ No talking section

2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of
interest:)

___ Stock market
___ Sports
___ Medicine
___ Congregates' secret medical tragedies
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip (choose:)
___ The rabbi
___ The rabbi's wife
___ The cantor
___ The cantor's wife
___ The gabbay
___ The gabbi's wife
___ The gabbi's "secretary"
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ Why they look awful
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbors' relatives
___ President Bush
___ President Bush and Dick Cheney
___ Sex (Preference:)________________)
___ Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
___ Other: ____________________________

3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?

___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Nutritionist
___ Psychiatrist
___ Child psychiatrist
___ Mother in law
___ Podiatrist
___ Chiropractor
___ Stockbroker
___ Accountant
___ Lawyer
___ Criminal
___ Civil
___ Real estate agent
___ Architect
___ Plumber
___ Buyer (Specify store:_________________)
___ Sexologist
___ Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a
Jewish one]
___ Other: ____________________________

4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)

___ On the aisle
___ Near the exit
___ Near the window
___ In Aruba
___ Near the bathroom
___ Near my in-laws
___ As far away from my in-laws as possible
___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
___ Near the pulpit
___ Near the Kiddush table
___ Near single men
___ Near available women
___ Near anyone who's available-I'm bisexual or just not particular
___ Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services
___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
___ Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]

5. (Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:

___ I can see my spouse over the mechitza
___ I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza
___ I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza
___ My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza.

6. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.) _________________________ _________________________
_________________________ _________________________
_________________________ _________________________

Your name: _________________________________

Building fund pledge: _________________________

= = = = = =

Addendum to the Synagogue Seating Form

___Check here if you'd like the office to tell your in-laws that there are no more seats available. (Please note there is an extra charge of $100 for this service.)

A Note From the High Holiday Seating Committee: A special heartfelt thank you to the 3 families (you know who you are) who submitted their reservation forms without editorial comment, without special seating requests, without drawing seating diagrams and without citing Supreme Court precedent. As for all the rest of you, we found your submissions highly entertaining and we look forward to seating each and every one of you in the Shul's 900 aisle seats.

About the time I brought hurricane season north with me...

Everyone at work is in a tizzy about Hurricane Isabel possibly hitting New Joisey. To me, this is just more proof that I brought MY weather conditions with me when I was moved to New Joisey from my beloved N'Awlins.

When I first arrived, everyone kept saying to me, "it's going to be hard for you when it starts snowing, isn't it?"

To which I calmly replied, "it will only snow in the mountains and on the weekends this year."

See, I told them I brought weather with me when I moved up here. They'll believe me NOW when they get their first hurricane in a loooong time.

I told them I wouldn't allow snow!

Hmmph!

Anniversary

Today is the two year anniversary of the first "official" date my future husband (397 days and counting!) and I went on. We had many "unofficial" dates prior to this one. Some of these occurred while I was dating a very, very bad man. This man said to me once during a fight,

"You spend all your time with John anyway! Why don't you just date HIM, huh?"

Why indeed? That was the beginning of the end for the very, very bad boyfriend and the beginning of the beginning for John.

So, John... Happy anniversary! May these two years be the first two of a wonderful life together! (Just don't make me move anywhere else, OK? This move was bad enough!)

This is the analysis from Kabalarians.com... you decide:

Brief Analysis
The name of Daniella creates a very quiet, practical nature and a clever and inventive mind. Being analytical and naturally studious, you are interested in a factual understanding of the mysteries of life. Your methodical nature requires that you like to finish what you start without interruptions and also to have everything in its place and properly organized. An ability to concentrate could take you into computer programming or accountancy or any work requiring concentration and attention to detail. You have, also, a flair for creative expression with your hands. You take life seriously and can be easily and deeply hurt and go into moods which can be quite extreme at times, causing much turmoil and unhappiness. Finding it difficult to join in conversation with those with whom you are not well-acquainted, you could feel quite alone and uncommunicative with new acquaintances or in a large crowd. As a result, you could be accused of being unfriendly. You desire so much to be understood, but your name has limited your verbal expression to such an extent that it is very difficult for you to divulge your innermost thoughts even to those closest to you. One of your greatest salvations is being out in nature, for it is there that you find the peace and serenity you so much desire.

The Friday Five

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Yes, the same... but only for 400 more days. Then I become... Mrs. Myfiancee!

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I like my name even though no one can spell it or pronounce it without a lot of help.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) My parents named me after my mother's grandfather whose name was Daniel and he passed away before I was born.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I love my grandmother's name... Tatiana -- it's beautiful. I hate any name ending in -i- such as Candi, Cindi, Tammi -- you know, white trash cheerleader names.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it? Huh?

I killed a man in Reno... just to watch him die

Johnny Cash passed away early this morning. The first time I heard the music of The Man in Black, I was a freshman in college in Washington DC. We would sit around in smoky dorm rooms listening to "Ring of Fire" and pontificating on deep things. Our parents just didn't understand us, the government was out to get us and all the great literary minds were dead, man!

Johnny Cash was the soundtrack to my self indulgence... Thanks for the memories, Johnny! Because you're mine, I walk the line.

Come and knock on my door... we'll be waiting for you

Good bye Jack Ritter, you left us too early.

I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow. My office overlooks Lower Manhattan. Many of my co-workers lost friends and relatives in the towers. They all watched them burn from those windows just across from my cubicle. I wasn't here then. I think I may call in sick tomorrow because I don't want to see their pain.

I don't want to co-opt the pain of the people who experienced this just because the rest of us experienced it too. Our national pain is not the same as their personal pain.

Please, do I have to go to work tomorrow?

The scariest thing I have ever read...
...is this poem.

God Damn Comcast!

The cable went out last night at 10:24 PM. Right in th middle of an episode of Law and Order: SVU which I had not yet seen. For those of you who know me, I am a rabid Law and Order addict and must get my fix at least bi-weekly.

Anyway, the cable went out and I called them to report an outage. The woman at the "No-Help Desk" kept trying to convince me that the reason that I had a blue screen was because I had turned on my VCR. First of all, I'm not an idiot. Second of all, I wired the whole damn system, including running the cable box, the VCR and the DVD player through the goddamn stereo receiver. So, basically, I know what I'm doing and the fucking VCR was not on! Additionally,the cable in the bedroom was out and we don't have a VCR in there. Nor was our cable modem working. The cable was out...

Once I finally convinced the Customer Disservice Representative of this, she finally agreed that there was indeed an outage and that she would send someone to fix it.

Meanwhile... I missed the end of the episode. Can anyone tell me what happened? This was last night's episode on NBC about the cancer patient who was growing marijuana for her medicinal marijuana group and was found murdered, not the episode earlier that night on USA about the holy roler who was sleeping with his daughter in law.

Please post episode resolution in the comments section or send me an e-mail. Anyone who responds will have my eternal gratitude!!!

What's your political compass?

Take this test and let me know. I am, as expected, a left leaning libertarian. You can click on the link to see where I fall on the scale. Overall, an interesting and well thought out quiz.

Why I love Tom Tomorrow...

Read this week's comic here.

Da N'Awlins Aints

Ugh! Is it time to bring back the paper bags yet? With a performance like this to start our season, can we really harbor any hope of the playoffs? I might actually start rooting for the Giants!

By the way, the game was a blast, the day was gorgeous and I finally got to see what tailgating is (we don't do that at the Superdome in New Orleans, but boy do they do it at the Meadowlands!).

Are you ready for some foooootballllll???

Today is not only the season opener for my beloved N'Awlins Aints (who I swear are gonna go all the way this year!!!), but it is also the season opener for my future husband's beloved NY Giants.

...and who's the best fiance ever? That would be me, who surprised him by getting four tickets to the sold out game! How, you ask? Well, let's just say I have my ways (and, no it did not involve sexual favors!).

Anyway, in about an hour, yours truly, her one true love and his little brother and little brother's friend will be on their way to the Meadowlands for John's first Giants game in about 15 years. Huzzah!

Much beer consumption will ensue. Wish us luck!

The Friday Five

Here, for your amusement is The Friday Five:

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? Laundry

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? reorganizing anything and everything (I'm slightly anal retentive... really!)

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? clean as it's needed, but try to at least fight a battle in the War of the Cat Hair each Saturday or Sunday.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? Everything in the bathroom must sparkle. Nothing can be crooked in my house, for example a picture on the mantle, the coasters on the coffe table, the decorative pillows on the bed.... (ok, maybe more than slightly anal retentive...)

5. What was the last thing you cleaned? The cat litter.

Top 10 Things I Hate About New Jersey

10. They don't understand the zipper concept in merging traffic... no one lets anyone else in and everyone ends up slamming on their brakes and holding up traffic even worse.

9. If you say "hello" to a stranger as you pass them walking, they clutch their purse and avert their eyes... in New Orleans, this was considered good manners. Apparently in New Fucking Jersey, you are a psycopath mugger or worse.

8. The service in most restaurants leaves a great deal to be desired... This one is pretty self explanatory.

7. The weather in New Jersey in early September is exactly like the weather in New Orleans in February... it's 60 degrees, drizzling and grey. No one seems to know how to drive in the rain.

6. When people bump you in a crowd, they do not say "excuse me" -- they just keep going without even looking back... were these people raised by wolves?

5. You have to buy your own recycling bins... the city does not provide you with one, but if you do not recycle, you face a fine.

4. People seem perfectly content by gritty sand and ice cold seawater... this ain't no Florida panhandle with its soft white sand and warm Gulf waters.

3. No one says please... when I ordered my caffeine fix this morning by asking, "may I please have a vanilla chai latte with skim milk?" The barrista looked at me in amazement and barked "what?"

2. Traffic, traffic, traffic... I work 7 miles away from my home. It takes me between 45 minutes and hour to get there in the mornings and as much as an hour and a half to get back. On Sunday night at 9:00 PM, there was STILL a bunch of traffic. Where are all these people going??

and the #1 thing I hate about New Jersey?

... I miss my friends and I miss my family!

Why did I have to move here? Oh, yeah the vagaries of the New Orleans job market!

New links are appearing all over the left hand side navigation. The incomparable Lugosi, the amusing Fish, Inchoherent Babbling, Geese Aplenty among others. I should also mention that these are all blogs which I have been reading for quite some time (and in the case of Zelda, for a looong time - at least in blog years - several months is a long time).

Of course, I also added Baghdad Burning and I suggest you all read it!

To borrow a line from Greg at Geese Aplenty - please enjoy responsibly!

I haven't got the words to express what I feel when I read this. As everyone well knows, I have been an opponent of the so-called "Operation Iraqi Freedom" for many reasons, least of all was the fact that Iraq had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11.

Please read this courageous lady's blog. We can all learn a thing or two or more about what is really happening in Baghdad.

As much as I love this country, and trust me, as an immigrant who cherishes her freedoms and always votes I do, sometimes I am ashamed to be associated with this current administration and that of his father.

Shizzle my Nizzle n' shit

If you click here and type in my URL (www.daniellamoiseyev.blogspot.com), it will translate my entire website into Snoop Dogg language. Try it, really... I triple snoop dogg dare you!

Duuuuude.... the original is OLD!

Back when Ashton "It Boy" Kutcher was just a gleam in his babydaddy's eye, Keanu Reeves was already saying "duuuuuude!"

Happy 39th birthday to one of my biggest teenage crushes. Did you ever see "River's Edge"? One of the creepiest movies ever and the one that sealed my crush on the fabulous Mr. Reeves. Can you believe he is almost FORTY?????

Time, she sure does fly.

I'm in a Nuuu Yawk state of mind....

We went into the city last night to see a band play that we are considering have play at our wedding. They were terrific, we had a great time.

It was our first time going out in NYC since we moved here about a month ago. I told John that we were going to stay out late as we had become an old boring couple that never does anything. I mean, we fell asleep on his parent's couch at 9:30 PM on Saturday night of a holiday weekend! Geez!

We had a lot of fun dancing at The Rodeo Bar, then after the band finished their second set, we walked a bit and had a night cap at an Irish pub down the street. At this point, it was about 1:00 AM and we decided that we were ready to go home. This is where the fun started...

We needed to find an ATM to get cash to catch a crosstown cab to get to 33rd and 6th Ave to catch the PATH train back to Newark where we had parked my car at my office. There were no ATMs anywhere. We started walking and walking and walking thinking that we would walk crosstown to find an ATM in the direction in which we needed to go. So we walked and walked and walked -- no goddamn ATMs.

At this point my cute new Betina sling backs were starting to hurt my feet and I could feel blisters starting to form. We finally got to the PATH train station never having seen an ATM. I had to pee, but we were afraid that we would miss the train and they run infrequently that late at night. It was 2:00 AM.

We waited on the steaming platform (it was cold outside, but the train station was about 95 degrees). And waited. And waited. I really really had to pee. The train finally arrived. It was 2:45 AM.

We got to Hoboken and changed trains for the Newark train. Luckily for our wait time the train was there. Unluckily for my bladder, there was not enough time for me to find a bathroom.

When we arrived at the Newark train station, it was 3:15 AM. All the bathrooms were locked, probably to keep the homeless people from sleeping in them. I ran to the car and clutched my belly the whole way home. We arrived at home at 3:40 AM.

I have learned several valuable lessons. I don't care if it costs us $50 to park, we are driving next time we go to the city late at night. I am going to wear comfortable shoes. We need to get more than $60 in cash because there really ISN'T an ATM on every corner. Always pee at every possible chance!